I’ll Be There For You.

 

For me, watching television is a deliberate act. I’m not one who curls up on the sofa and surfs channels hoping to stumble upon something that appears interesting or to settle on something that is so obviously uninteresting. Whatever shows I do enjoy get watched online, per my convenience, when I have space in my life for them. The only exception to this rule applies to the NBA. I make my best efforts to watch most games in real-time. (ARE YOU GUYS SEEING HOW AMAZING MY BULLSIES ARE DOING THIS SEASON?! HELLO, D.ROSE FOR MVP ROUND TWO!)

But tonight, as the dark of night got deeper and I found myself tossing and turning in bed; I gave up wishing for sleep, grabbed an orange from the fridge and plopped down on the couch. Did you guys know that Friends now airs on Nick at Nite? Is this real life? Remember when the late night line-up was reserved for shows shot in black and white? How is a show from my childhood old enough to be featured on a network where-once-upon-a-time couples couldn’t be seen sleeping in the same bed? But I digress…

The cliche-laugh-track-fueled-half-hour seduced me in. As I giggled at the antics that took place in Monica’s rent-controlled purple apartment with copper saucepans and mismatched chairs, I began to slowly drift back to the young girl I was when I first watched these episodes. A bright-eyed kid impressed by the lifestyle of these characters whose job’s were a joke, they were broke, and their love life was DOA. As a kid, Friends served as part escapism and part hope.

As the episode continued, I began to remember what this time period had been like. This was 1998, when our biggest federal scandal involved the president’s sex life, when Jennifer Aniston was Hollywood’s golden girl instead of tabloid-fodder, when Cougar Town didn’t exist. This was when there was no war, no $13 trillion dollar deficit, no 8.5% unemployment rate, no housing collapse. We lived in a Disneyland of sub-prime mortgages and college loans, APR financing and shopping malls and our Boomer parents waved their magic Mastercards and told us that, someday, we could be anything we chose.

Suddenly, in this moment, this Friends episode started to become so much more to me. That’s just like me isn’t it? Taking something frivolous, enjoyable, and exacerbating it into something bigger, greater, bursting with meaningful undertones. This old episode featuring Ross flying into a public rage when someone steals his gravy-soaked turkey sandwich took me back to a time where the only thing I believed in was possibility. Exactly what I needed to remember now that the beginning and endings of my days are blurring together, my needs are ranked lowest on my list, and where work is consuming almost every waking moment. I’m reminded that as a young girl, sneaking upstairs to my room to catch the next installment in the Rachel/Ross love story, this is exactly what I imagined.

I imagined the thrill that would come from doing creative work that I would be underpaid for. I imagined all the sleepless nights I would endure because my thoughts would be far more interesting than anything I could ever dream. I imagined meaningful conversations with my own vapid self-absorbed Rachel and a burgeoning romance with my very own charismatic but slightly sardonic Chandler. I imagined my 20′s bursting with in-cohesive but enchanted moments of stress, delirium, and true bliss.

This little late-night getaway is taking me back to a time when my own adulthood was as much a fantasy as that half hour on NBC. Though stock-piled with pretty people in flattering lighting, Friends isn’t about success. This sitcom illustrates that even in our wealthy, sushi-eating daydream, life wouldn’t be perfect. But each moment would be worth it. And I think tonight, in the midst of my own personal, wonderful, professional hell, this was exactly what I needed to remember.

All these years later, as an adult, Friends is still providing me with a little bit of escapism and a little bit of hope.

Obligatory but Very Sincere New Year’s Wish.

As we hang up the sequin adorned dresses and put the party hats in storage, another chance to awaken spiritually, creatively, and romantically is upon us. The onset of another year and the beauty of possibility that it brings.

I want to share something that Oprah wrote as it mirrors a lot of my own sentiments:

Of course no one knows what will actually happen in 2012, but one thing I do know for sure is the power of intention. And I intend to approach this year as one of great promise. I’m going to do my part, within myself and within the world…, to bring about a shift that lets us live more authentically, more lovingly, more intuitively, more creatively, and more collaboratively.

I choose to see it as the dawning of a new year of alignment, because with alignment comes enlightenment. When you’re aligned with your heart’s desire, when you’re in sync with who you’re meant to be and how you’re supposed to contribute to our magnificent Earth, you feel a shift in perception. You start to notice that miracles show up regularly.

Some people call these miracles coincidences or serendipity. I like to call them marvelisms. Because when I’m doing everything I’m meant to do to keep my mind, body, and spirit whole (which for me means meditating twice a day, eating healthy, and exercising at least one hour daily), I constantly marvel at how other experiences fall into place. It’s as though that beautiful line in Paulo Coelho’s novel The Alchemist comes true: “When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”

I try to take no encounter or experience for granted. Everything happens in accordance with how we think and what we choose. Yet I do marvel that life, year after year, keeps revealing the best of itself—if we’re willing to see it that way.

Mmm, yes, captures everything doesn’t it? Wishing all of you true enlightenment and a blessed year bursting at the seams with love and success. Let’s make this one a magnificent one! xo

p.s. sorry I was MIA for a couple weeks, went vacationing for awhile! Full recap coming soon!

Relationships.

I’ve been thinking about relationships a lot lately. The push and the pull, the selflessness and the needy. How to make it all work, how to ensure that it lasts forever, how to open your heart up and let someone in. Into every corner, every crevice, every happy place, every dark place. How to unravel my emotions, thoughts, and feelings that are wrapped so tightly around a colorful spool. How do I turn and continue turning, exposing each part of myself before the end of the line is finally reached. Letting someone in that deeply and that completely, it sounds terrifying and yet exhilarating.

A good relationship should make you feel empowered. You should be magnified by your presence in a couple, supported endlessly. Communication, commitment, all necessary components to battling the ups and the downs; combatting all the ebbs and the flows. Laughing, continuously, consistently, for always.

But how to fall? How to get to that place? How to trust feelings that have betrayed you before? Gut instincts that proved to be wrong, inaccurate, far off the mark. How to look beyond a history, only to trust this moment. Our presence, here, in this space of time. What does this moment feel like? Are you ready to leap? To risk? To dive in, head first, soul wide open, to offer your bleeding heart?

Are you ready to open your arms and let someone lie in them. Share in the misery and the fear. The trials and tribulations of all the minutes that are strung together to create days. How do you know? How do you know you’re ready? Can you feel it? Growing in the pit of your stomach, the excitement, the anticipation. Can you let yourself go to it? Lose yourself in it.

The worries, the concerns, the beginnings, the endings, the in betweens, compounded with confusion, propelled forward by interest and fascination.

Trust. Trust. Trust.

Now, fall.

(What do you guys think constitues a successful relationship. What’s necessary? What’s essential?)

Nutella Cupcakes

I don’t know about you guys but if I could live off one food for the rest of my life, it would be Nutella. However, I’m more than aware of the high caloric intake in each tasty spoonful so I try to keep my binges at bay by placing the jars on the highest shelves in my kitchen. At a staggering 5’5, this sometimes works in combatting my cravings.

I usually just savor it by the spoonfuls or as a side to fruit or pretzels (ha, as a side, yea right) but lately, I’ve been trying to incorporate it into other tasty treats. My first experiment was to make Self Frosting Nutella Cupcakes. I came up with the idea mid-afternoon on a Sunday and needed something that was quick before people came over for the Bears game. The whole process took me no longer then 30 minutes so it’s now my go-to recipe for when I need something fast and easy.

ready for baking!

Ingredients

10 tbsp butter, softened
3/4 cup white sugar
3 eggs
1/2 tsp vanilla
1 3/4 cups sifted flour
1/4 tsp salt
2 tsp baking powder
1/3 cup Nutella

**I had some leftover cake flour sitting in the pantry so I used that instead of flour but I’m sure the results would be similar if you just use regular ol’ flour.

Method

- Preheat oven to 325F and line 12 muffin tins with paper liners.

- Cream together butter and sugar until light, about 2 minutes. Add in eggs on at a time, until fully incorporated.

-Add vanilla.

- Stir in flour, salt, and baking powder until batter is smooth and all flour is blended. Using an ice cream scoop, fill each muffin liner with batter. Cups should be 3/4 full if you’re not using a scoop.

- Top each cake with 1 1/2 tsp Nutella. Swirl Nutella in with a toothpick, folding a little batter up and over the Nutella as well.Bake for 20 minutes. Remove to wire rack and allow to cool.

- Makes 12.

we're so ugly but we taste soooo good.

I made my brother fold in the Nutella which is prodominantly why these babies look like such a hot mess. But pretty or not, they were DELICIOUS. The cupcake itself wasn’t that sweet so the warm Nutella filling was the perfect compliment.

I definitely recommend giving these a whirl if Nutella tickles your fancy like it does mine. But ya know, that means you actually have to leave some in the jar. :p

xo loves.

Happy Rambles.

Doesn’t it seem that the line between being thankful and being greedy has gotten really blurred? Stores opening at midnight on Black Friday really propels us into abandoning the sentiment that the Thanksgiving Holiday is all about. But, don’t get me wrong. I’m a door buster like anyone else. In fact, I think my mother and I just do it out of tradition now but nonetheless, sometimes it leaves me feeling a little bit…sad.

All those warm feelings seem to evaporate as we trample on each other to score the best item. But in an effort, to maintain the feeling of gratitude all year long, I signed up for www.happyrambles.com a couple months ago. Basically, it took Oprah’s idea of a gratitude journal and brought it to the web. Every evening at around 7 or 8 pm, I get an email from Happy Rambles that asks me to list five things that I was thankful for that day. I respond to the email and it stores all my lists online! You can even attach photos if you want to remember something particularly special and it will be stored for years to come.

I think it’s a great little site that helps keep life in perspective on a daily basis. I highly recommend signing up so that you can stay thankful for your blessings all year round. Even on days when life feels not so spectacular, there is always something to be grateful for.

Happy Rambling!

xo.