NYFW & what I learned.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve felt like I was straddling the line between two vastly different worlds: materialism and altruism. One foot in each orbit, being pulled by the powers of doing good and looking good. I’ve even blogged about it several times, the guilt that comes after I make an expensive couture purchase. The ache that grows in my heart when I read of people struggling for basic needs while I sit comfortably surrounded by so much excess. So much expensive excess.

That was until something happened last week. While twirling around in the Mecca of the fashion industry at New York Fashion Week, I found acceptance. In between the bejeweled gowns and sequined tops, underneath the flashing lights, I found freedom. As I teetered in six inch heels along New York’s cobbled roads, I found balance. This beautiful, incredible life that I have can be divided between all my desires. Choosing both doesn’t make me any less of who I am but denying one side, does.

Some people might read this and be judgmental and consider me hypocritical. But I must explain that as I sat on the sidelines of numerous fashion

Naeem Khan NYFW s/s 2012. For those who follow me on twitter saw all of the crap quality photos. I hope this gorgeous one makes up for all of those.

shows, I began to cultivate a deeper understanding for this art form. Each show was so unique, each runway was so different, each designer had their own theme and their own message and there I sat, baring witness to their art. Just as music, movies, and books propel society forward, so does fashion. Certain shows evoked really strong emotions from within me and forced me to contemplate deeper life issues, just as many films and epic novels have in the past. Each runway was a canvas for that designer that they painted on with wide colorful structured strokes.

The whirlwind of creativity captivated me and most importantly, inspired me. I came back abuzz with fresh new ideas. Being in that audience, interacting with so many interesting people, validated  my career choice. I need to be rooted in an industry that is artistic, thoughtful, and encourages self expression. With the stipulation that I never ignore my dreams to make real differences in the lives of the less fortunate. That I always continue to remember to give back. I can believe in shoes and social justice, they are not mutually exclusive. This doesn’t mean that law school isn’t still on the horizon, it very much is, but… I suppose that’s a post for another day.

I just know that right now, I feel incredibly substantiated. I don’t have to straddle any lines anymore and I don’t have to feel all torn like Natalie Imbruglia, it’s all achievable.

I don’t know if I’m effectively conveying my feelings. I can’t seem to find the right words to capture this moment so I may revisit this topic in an effort to tell it better later, but for now, all I know is that this feels so right. These sentiments may sound similar to what I expressed in an earlier post but it’s very different. Then I had just begun the incredible journey of discovering something new that I loved and now I’ve fully allowing myself to settle into it. I’m cutting out doubt and guilt and giving myself over to the passion that moves me. I don’t know if that’s a discernable distinction but it is a discernable feeling. Thank you, New York Fashion Week for teaching me so many valuable lessons. I am forever indebted to your catwalk.

Oh and wait, I also learned that the crowds really do part for Anna. Wintour that is.