I’ve been thinking about relationships a lot lately. The push and the pull, the selflessness and the needy. How to make it all work, how to ensure that it lasts forever, how to open your heart up and let someone in. Into every corner, every crevice, every happy place, every dark place. How to unravel my emotions, thoughts, and feelings that are wrapped so tightly around a colorful spool. How do I turn and continue turning, exposing each part of myself before the end of the line is finally reached. Letting someone in that deeply and that completely, it sounds terrifying and yet exhilarating.
A good relationship should make you feel empowered. You should be magnified by your presence in a couple, supported endlessly. Communication, commitment, all necessary components to battling the ups and the downs; combatting all the ebbs and the flows. Laughing, continuously, consistently, for always.
But how to fall? How to get to that place? How to trust feelings that have betrayed you before? Gut instincts that proved to be wrong, inaccurate, far off the mark. How to look beyond a history, only to trust this moment. Our presence, here, in this space of time. What does this moment feel like? Are you ready to leap? To risk? To dive in, head first, soul wide open, to offer your bleeding heart?
Are you ready to open your arms and let someone lie in them. Share in the misery and the fear. The trials and tribulations of all the minutes that are strung together to create days. How do you know? How do you know you’re ready? Can you feel it? Growing in the pit of your stomach, the excitement, the anticipation. Can you let yourself go to it? Lose yourself in it.
The worries, the concerns, the beginnings, the endings, the in betweens, compounded with confusion, propelled forward by interest and fascination.
Trust. Trust. Trust.
Now, fall.
(What do you guys think constitues a successful relationship. What’s necessary? What’s essential?)
I read this and then read it out loud again the second time. And it left me breathless.
Beautiful, thoughtful, and insightful piece.
You know what I think about this already! Call you tomorrow my orange! xo
I truly agree. The most essential thing in a relationship is TRUST. Nice post.
I love waking up to your posts/thoughts! Sincerely loved this one. You are so talented at conveying exactly what you’re feeling and taking the reader on this whirlwind of a journey. MISS YOU! LOVE YOU!
trust yourself, princess. when has your gut ever been wrong?
Ahhh yes, I understand this. Truly and in every sense of the word. I struggle with this constantly and feel the ghosts of my pasts sometimes cloud the happy memories of my future. It’s so tragic when you think of it, really, because it’s difficult to let go completely without that safety net.
At the same time, I think sometimes it just feels right and the worry, the anticipation, the fears, the anxieties… they begin to melt. Which isn’t to say that this has happened overnight for me by any stretch of the imagination, but I feel in many ways I have met someone who understands my internal struggles and he doesn’t push for more. He just allows me this journey and waits patiently until I’ve sorted myself out. It’s a start, and a beautiful one at that.
When you write like this, Gia, I realize everything that I love about you. Your talent knows no end. Thank you for this
Trust is absolutely the #1 thing in a relationship. I was in a marriage without trust and no matter how hard I tried it just did not work. Yes, there are obviously other important things in relationships but if you don’t trust someone it will fall apart.
do we need to talk? really nice post, poppet. very wise.
as someone already mentioned, I am breathless. you have such a way with words my pretty friend. such an effortless ease.
Transparency. Trust will follow once you’ve established it.
Gia, you are such an amazing writer. I admire your eloquence!
Trust is definitely key. After trust has been violated, it is so hard for the gut, the mind and the heart to override the instinct to put up a brick wall.
Yes. Well said. I am in a relationship for perhaps the first time in my life.
It took a lot for me, a fiercely independent international traveler, to truly trust this much older and more settled man, a man who six years ago was the first to ever treat me like a princess. The turning point: I got sick. He surprised me with a special delivery of medicine, tea, and a travel-sized hair dryer. And since then we have been nearly inseparable. I feel very lucky.
He supports my dreams and edits my writing. He teaches me sophisticated Spanish words. I help him sell toys and tolerate his constant discussions of toy sales strategy.
Good times
Well, “trust” is really the most obvious…it forms the basis for all relationships…friendships, intimate relationships, etc. Without it…you just have an acquaintance.
communication is a two way street and its not about compatibility…. its about understandng
of course trust is very important, a relationship without trust is like a cell phone with no network, all ur doing is playing games